Homer: "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some civilization to spread like butter over the English muffin that is these people, with all their little nooks and crannies and-"

Bart: "Dad, are you licking toads?"

Homer: "I'm not <i>not</i> licking toads."

<i><b>The Simpsons, Episode... Something: Missionary Impossible</i></b>

Teddie*drunk*: Teddie's is red! RED! Is Teddie the king?!

Yosuke: Seriously? Damnit, we're doomed from the get-go...

Teddie*drunk*: I, the king, command thee to smooch the king without delay. SMOOCH! Please, God, grant me a girl... Number 3!

Kanji *in a very girly fashion*: Ahh!

Teddie: I meant number 2!

Yosuke: Hey, no take-backs!

Teddie*drunk*: K-Kanji! So you WERE after my fuzzy fur! Okaaaaaay, but it's my first time, so be gentle...

Kanji: I'm warnin' ya, bear, you touch me and I'll rub your fur the wrong way!

Yukiko: Srnk...

- Persona 4

Really long, but an overall really random scene. Teddie, Yukiko and Rise are hilarious when they're drunk.

Homer - "Alright! Everybody in the pool!"

Random Guy - "Is a fine barn, sure tis no pool, English."

Homer - "Dohest!"

Homer - "Is it a pool yet?"

Lisa - "Yes Dad."

Homer - "Woohoo!"

The Simpsons

Jizza: Hey, how ya doin?
Conker: Oh, hi.
Jizza: Won't ya come in and sit down, whaddya want?
Conker: Oh, um... this place really smells...
Jizza: Yeah, see, we're like fuckin dung beetles. We roll around in poo all day, fuck knows what for.
Conker: Oh, really, that's interesting...
Jizza: You want some poo?
Conker: Um...
Jizza: Right then, get your fuckin arse in there. There are these fuckin cows. Get 'em in there, get 'em to crap, and I'll make ya a ball of poo, and you can do whatever the hell you like with it. Go then, on your bike! You're still here? Fuck off wit' ya!
Conker: Oh, charming...

Conker's Bad Fur Day

(In line at a comic convention)

Random Guy: "It seems like you guys have a lot of people here."

Tycho: "Actually this is just the end of the MegaTokyo line."

Gabe (Yelling): "<b>He's not even fucking Japanese!</b>"

Tycho: "Gabriel's been hitting the Pocky pretty hard."

Gabe (Still yelling): "<b>HE'S FROM WISCONSIN YOU FUCKS!</b>"

<b><i>Penny Arcade</b></i>

For anyone who doesn't know, MegaTokyo is a very Japanese-styled webcomic. Many of the fans are considered weeaboos.

Personally I dont find it funny. I don't even see the punchline in most of the comics. But it has its fans.

"A winner is you!"

- Pro Wrestling

"Make Your Jet Can Shoot, Man!"

-random tutorial on intrawebs

*While hanging Christmas lights on the roof*

Tycho: "In KotOR 2 are you going to try playing a Dark Side character?"

Gabe: "Hell no. Light side for life dog."

Tycho: "Careful there, it's slick."

*Gabe slips and ends up hanging onto the edge of the roof with one hand*

Tycho: "The Dark Side abilities are way cool. And the ending is totally awesome."

Gabe: "That's not true! That's impossible!"

Tycho: "Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Now join me, and together we will rule the galaxy as roommates. Evil roommates though."

Gabe: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*Gabe lets go and falls*

<b><i>Penny Arcade</b></i>