*You walk out of the Sunshine and Bunnies "cave" with great rage.
You look around but don't know where to begin...*

You: "Well... to the local supermarket!"

*After a long walk from the "cave" you come across a town.
You look up and read the sign above your head.*

You: "The town of no return... oh crap!"

*You walk in the town but notes that this isn't a town at all...*

You: "This isn't a town... it's a village!
Whats wrong with this world and bad choices of names!"

*You walk to the supermarket but...*

TEXT: IT HAS A SYMBOL OF A EMERALD!

You: "I'm confused!
Why does a supermarket have a "SYMBOL OF A EMERALD"?
Maybe... I need a key with an emerald on it...
it makes perfect seance!"

*You walk to the Inn to sleep to wait for the supermarket to open... because your to lazy to obtain the emerald key*

You: "I like a room please."
Inn keeper: "That will be $100 gold."
You: $100 gold what an outrage!
Oh fine here take my money you greedy bastard!"
Inn Keeper: Thank you, *hands key over* sleep well.
You: "I can't now knowing that I spent $100 gold on one room for the night!"

*You walk up stairs onto your room and you stand by your bed...*

You: "Ahhh... what do I do...? *pulls out manual* Press X by a bed to go to bed... Oh that make seance.

*You press X on your controller*

You: "Oh wait I could do... the other part of the que..."

*Your screen goes dark and plays sleep music*

You: "Oh but I'm not tired!

*You wake up in the morning and go to the supermarket to get some sweet sweet OJ*

Store Lady: "That will be $599.00 gold"
You: "WHAT FOR OJ?"
Store Lady "Well Death Seraph did tell you that it will be $599.00 gold"
You: "Yeah bu... HEY!
How do you know about Death Seraph?"
Store Lady: "He's on to us!"

*Store Lady try's to attack you but you doge and she kills the person beside you.
You attack Store Lady for 10 points of damage and hits.
Store Lady attacks You for 21 points of damage and hits.
You use SUPER KICK and kick her in the shin with 200 point of damage!
You have killed Store Lady.
You: ("You know I never gave that key back to that Inn keeper...")

*After like several battles like that one you finally get out of the supermarket.*

You: "I should give this key back to that Inn keeper..."
???: "Hey, I know where you can find Ashes of the Forbidden One."
You: "How did you know?"
???: "Just listen..."

(I thought you already killed Binky Boy to get the ashes, oh well.)

???: Heheh... you wanna know?
You: Not if it'll cost me any more than 20 bucks in gold (say what?)
???: Nah, money ain't what I want. What I want is... a sack of potatos!
You: ...
???: ... Hey, I'm hungry!
You: Alright, where can I get a Sack of Potatos(tm)?
???: Hell if I know. Why don't you ask the farmer over there?
You: Why the hell is there a farmer in the middle of town?
???: ... Shut up. Well, bye.
You: Wait! What was your name?
???: My name? It's ???
You: Oh... well then... hmm...
???: Anyway, I'll be standing in that dark non-chalant alleyway over there.

(No, I only got them ashes from the ghost...)

You: "Hello there farmer..."
Farmer: "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!"
You: "Po-Pota-ato's?
Farmer: "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE POTATO'S! UNLESS YOU SAVE MY WIFE FROM A PACK OF WOLFS!
You: "And this has to do with general quest, how?
Farmer: "IT JUST DOES...! SAVE HER SO I CAN...Well you know...
You: Ewww... gross your like 60!
Farmer: "JUST GO SAVE THE DAMN GIRL!
You: "but... where is she located?
Farmer: "YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT KIND OF INFORMATION IS NOT AVAILABLE!
You: "*Sigh*"

*You walk outside and see a women getting attacked by a pack of wolf...*

You: "that convent..."

*With Neverwinters battle system you kill the pack of wolfs... easily.*

You: "There I saved you."
*You look at the women that you just saved and notes that's she like 20... or maybe 25... you can't really tell.*
You: "Are you the farmer's wife?
Farmer's wife: "Yeah..."
*You turn away and vomit...*
You: "OH GOD!"

*You wake up in a daze.*

You: "Where am I?"
Farmer: "HERE'S YOUR POTATO'S!
You: "Oh thanks... Wheres your... ... wife?
Farmer: "She ran way... but I saw you fight them wolfs..."
You: "OK this quest just makes no seance!'
Farmer: "YEAH WELL... GO WAY!

*You walk in the dark non-chalant alleyway*

You: "So your non chalant stop rubbing are noses in it!"
???: "...

???: Sweet, you brought the potatos. Now my stew can finally have flavour!
You: Whatever, just give me the f***ing ashes!
???: I never said I'd GIVE you the ashes! I said I'd TELL you where they are.
You: Well, then just TELL me where the f***ing ashes are.
???: Oh... right... about that...
You: ... oh you've got to be kidding me.
???: I absolutely did NOT forget where they are. They are... in... Istanbul.
You: ...
???: ...
You: ... Istanbul?
???: I'm pretty sure. Yup. Definately sure. Look for the generic oasis town in the middle of the Desert of Somewhat Return.
You: Isn't there an easier way?
???: Well, you could go to the supermarket and buy them for $599.00 USD
You: No thanks. So, how do I even get to Istanbul?
???: I dunno. Try over at Intl. Airship Services...

Loudspeaker: Attention patrons, Intl. Airship Services is now closed for repairs. Our airships keep getting boarded by bands of spiky haired youths and then attacked by ludicrously overpowered monsters.

Random NPC: Damn, now everyone will have to take the much more dangerous route over the ocean in that boat service, with the unnecessarily rickety boats. Also there are monsters in the ocean. There HAS to be monsters in the ocean. Big monsters. Like, bosses.

You: ... What the crap?

*So, you get into the boat and realize it's a row boat.*

You: "What the hell, are you saying that I have to take a row boat all the way to some place that I have no clue how to get to?"

Sailor: "Yes, but don't be mad... the row boat is auto targeted. So you you don't need to worry about getting there, you just need to worry about the... MONSTERS!..."

You: "Monsters? ... Oh yeah! That guy said I had to go though like one hundred monsters."

Sailor: "And like several boss battles... IN TALES BATTLE SYSTEM!"

*You fall to your knees.*

You: "NOOO~!"

*So, you start to travel with some sort of auto rowing magic boat*

You: "Well... it's time to du, du, du, du, du DUAL! *shifts eyes* ... I mean battle."

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do my homework in Digital Media.

Anyway...

Monsters Appear from the murky depths of the souless ocean! AND from space!

Sahagin x34
Merman x28
Octopi x18
Kraken (boss) x2
Leviathan (boss) x1
Magikarp (boss?!) x39

For a total of 122 enemies. Aquatic creatures aren't good at counting.